WARNING: This post discusses sexual matters (nothing explicit but it’s there). It is also in a cheeky tone although there is a very real and important point being made. This isn’t to negate the importance or wonderfulness of dating a trans woman, but since I am not one I cannot speak about that aspect of the spectrum.
“.. the second people see “trans” or “mtf” or “ftm” or any variation thereof they immediately click away.”
For the most part, we each want to find that person who is going to be our mate/partner/spouse. It’s not an easy task despite the ability to log into an astronomical number of dating sites and apps that will help us narrow down the potential dating pool options. For a trans person, though, it’s even more difficult because the second people see “trans” or “mtf” or “ftm” or any variation thereof they immediately click away. I get that we all have our preferences and attractions and sexualities, but I think many people write off trans people by default.
Here are some things to consider in regard to dating trans men:
- For the men and women who love penetration and are a bit snobbish when it comes to size this is a wonderful opportunity because many trans men are rather adept at using a variety of toys and, as such, you can have any size you want. You are still benefiting from the penetration you enjoy and the size you want. Some devices, such as the Peecock account for pleasure for the trans guy too so everyone wins.
- For women who may be concerned about unwanted pregnancy, this is an ideal for you because it would be an impossibility to get pregnant without actual intent and planning. This can be tough for a lot of trans guys, especially if they’re with their partner long term. There could be a strong desire to want to impregnate, yet it would remain an impossibility. There are alternative options, of course, but some guys may feel a great loss in not being able to do this specific act. While this could be a benefit for women, it could be a serious trigger for a trans guy so be sensitive about this issue.
- For men and women concerned with STDs – there’s no way to ever be completely immune from something sexually transmitted regardless of their partner if one, the other, or both aren’t practicing safer sex. However, a trans guy limits the possibility for some because there is no transmission through ejaculation. I have a rule of thumb in that I do not use the same toys I had with one partner with any new partners. I get new stuff for each partner. While some of the strap-ons can be costly, I figure a few extra dollars here is a cheaper price to pay to help prevent any spread of diseases. Even putting a condom over the strap-on I still feel that the few bucks it costs to get a new one is the better way to go. But do remember, there are other ways to transmit STDs so you should be using a wide-range of options for safer sex. It’s still possible for fluids to mingle with strap-ons and similar toys or through oral activities. Be well versed in how STDs/STIs are transmitted and tap you local resources for testing.
- For women who say they wish their men could understand them – your wish has come true. Many trans men don’t want to remember the life that was led in a female body, but that still doesn’t mean he doesn’t actually remember how absolutely “craptastic” it is once a month. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t actually remember how cis men can belittle and demean women. He does remember all those things and while his male brain may still mean he processes things (especially emotions) like a male, it doesn’t discredit that he’s been through a lot of what you go through and, therein, he can be more sympathetic. Again, a trans guy has that “male brain” so he may not always realize when you need that emotional support and understanding but, usually, once you point it out to us we’re pretty good at being understanding about the situation.
“You get to experience an incredible journey with someone.”
- You get to experience an incredible journey with someone. While it can be difficult for you both, it can be emotional, it can be trying, and hard it is also an exciting journey like no other.
While this isn’t an actual comprehensive list and it’s meant more in a jovial tone, it is important to consider us exactly how you would any other man. It’s important to realize that we are more than what is (and isn’t) in our pants or under our clothes. Who we are as people and how we are compatible with one another should be the most pressing points.
